October 5th is my 40th Birthday. I am a proud millennial but have valued the insights of the generations which have surrounded me my entire life. Being the youngest of six siblings gave me the experiences of “Generation X” while being raised by the “Silent Generation.” I was fortunate to come home when the streetlights came on while at the same time getting access to a computer in my early teens and chatting on AOL Instant Messenger. I don’t remember any participation trophies but many of my friends began getting cell phones in high school. (My Nokia came 2nd semester freshman year in college) I still remember getting a Blackberry, the one with the rollerball, when I started my career as a Financial Advisor in 2007. I feel like my life has been a balance of contrasting influences and all for the better.
This Birthday has struck me the most. I have reflected over the past few months and thinking forward I wanted to share 10 lessons with all of you. The lessons I’ve learned come from both the practical and the aspirational, both the everyday struggles and the moments of inspiration.
1. Life is not a steady climb but a series of highs and lows. The peaks are moments of success, joy, and accomplishment, while the valleys are those times of struggle, doubt, and hardship. What I’ve come to appreciate is that the valleys are just as important as the peaks, if not more so. It's in the valleys where growth happens. The low points teach resilience, patience, and the importance of perspective. If you only ever lived on the peak, you wouldn’t appreciate it as much. The view from the top is only meaningful because you know how hard the climb was to get there.
2. One book that influenced me deeply in my 20s was 212 Degrees by Sam Parker and Mac Anderson. The book’s message is simple yet profound: at 211 degrees, water is hot; at 212 degrees, it boils. That one extra degree makes all the difference. This idea of pushing just a little bit harder to achieve greatness has stuck with me. It’s easy to settle for “good enough,” but the real magic happens when you go the extra mile. It’s in that extra degree of effort where transformation occurs, whether in personal growth, relationships, or work. The lesson here is about striving to reach just a little higher, to push beyond what you think you’re capable of.
3. As I’ve aged, I’ve also learned the importance of surrounding myself with great people. The saying goes, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with,” and I believe there’s a lot of truth in that. Great people lift you up, inspire you, and hold you accountable. They challenge you to be better, to grow, and to dream bigger than you might on your own. Having a support system that encourages growth rather than holding you back is crucial. Life is too short to spend with people who drain your energy or keep you stagnant.
4. One of the biggest life lessons I’ve learned is the value of delayed gratification, especially when it comes to finances. Learning to save, invest, and think long-term about money has paid off in ways I didn’t fully understand when I was younger. Delaying that impulse purchase, waiting for the right opportunity, or putting away a little extra each month may not seem glamorous, but over time it builds security, peace of mind, and freedom. The discipline of delayed gratification translates directly to financial success and stability.
5. I’ve always been a dreamer. As we get older, it’s easy to become more practical, to let go of those big dreams in favor of what seems realistic. But I’ve learned that dreaming big is crucial to staying motivated and excited about life. Even if the dream evolves or changes over time, holding onto that sense of possibility keeps the fire alive.
6. One small thing that has made a surprisingly big difference in my life is the simple act of smiling at strangers in places like the grocery store. It may seem trivial, but a smile can brighten someone’s day, and it often comes back to you in unexpected ways. It’s a reminder of how little acts of kindness create ripple effects. Try it.
7. Another lesson I’ve learned is that giving often pays back in multiples. Whether it’s giving time, resources, or kindness, the more you give, the more seems to come back to you. It’s not about expecting anything in return, but I’ve found that generosity creates positive energy that finds its way back to you in different forms.
8. One of the most important lessons I’ve embraced is falling in love with the journey, not just the outcome. So often we chase goals, thinking that once we achieve them, we’ll be happy. But the reality is that the journey is where life happens. The small moments, the daily challenges, and the incremental progress are what shape us. If we can find joy in the process, the outcome becomes a bonus.
9. I’ve come to understand the importance of knowing my limitations. There’s a certain freedom in recognizing that I can’t do everything, that there are some things beyond my control. Knowing when to push and when to rest, when to seek help, and when to say no, is invaluable. It’s not about giving up but about recognizing that balance is key to long-term success and happiness.
10. Finally, I recall a keynote speaker telling me that most people overestimate what they can do in a year and underestimate what they can do in a decade. This is true and I now have 4 decades of experience.
As I turn 40, I feel a sense of gratitude for the lessons learned and excitement for what’s still to come. The journey is far from over, and I’m ready for the next peak—or valley.
My Best,
Ryan